“Stop and smell the roses, once in a while” echoes in my head from a time gone past. I sit in my concrete-car-park-of-a-back-yard with the sunshine beaming in and ponder this statement. My roses are doing really well with the good rain fall this week. It does not take much to please my roses – they must think their Christmases have come at once when it rains … since I am a poorly behaved garden waterer! Given also to the fact that Bill, my handyman, has not been here for 6 weeks or so, they have been allowed to grow randomly. Mr Lincoln is as tall as the neighbour’s gutter now and chooses to flower at the top so I cannot take him inside to admire! Typical bloke!
The one puddle in the dip of my concrete shimmers an invitation to swim. My old feline girl, Queen Olivia, loves to drink puddle water; I suspect the rainwater tastes better than the tap. A bit more nourishing and less chemically enhanced. Last rain fall we had I watched her wander through the water sipping at it like champagne. She obviously had a brain freeze for a moment as she decided to lay down but forgot she was still in the puddle. Her facial expression was priceless! The sun has warmed my body well and as I escape to the shade of my pencil pine (well, it’s big enough for my baby feline Princess Willow Rose), I relish this time I have had to STOP and smell the roses, even if they are out of reach. It is only Week 4 for me (in time of business closure due to COVID-19 restrictions) and the Government promised financial support is still a theory. I am told mid-May is Pay Day and in my mind that will coincide with the May 11th revaluation of our Emergency Status. I can hear the Government saying “OK, we are all good now. You can go back to work. Our financial assistance will cease in 48 hours!”. But I am not ready for that. Firstly, I want/need the promised money that by then should be around $7500 in back-pay. That is about 18 weeks of mortgage if nothing else. It could be 17 weeks of mortgage and a good grocery shop! It could be 16 weeks of mortgage, a good grocery shop and some winter clothes to fit my fattening body! I am eating less, I have found, and that is because I have a lower appetite. I suspect the decrease in physical exercise of my work as a massage therapist, that has not only improved my skin tremendously, also leaves me craving less fuel. However, eating twice a day out of sink with the rising and setting sun does not increase the chances weight will drop off. In fact, I think that is where my problem lays – an 11am breakfast and 4pm lunch/dinner, while it certainly saves time, does not work with the natural digestive processes of the human body. Who needs to save time anyway? I have all the time in the world (for now). I have been using my time wisely I would say. I have been considering how my life will look come Spring, when I expect my business will return to service. If the financial support is withdrawn before that, maybe I will not last the Winter through, hibernating in the warmth of my cave. But assuming I do make it through to Spring, ‘what will I do with the remaining 48 years of my life?’ I ask myself. Well, when you give it that solid a time frame it seems like no time to waste doing what you do not want to do!! To break it down further my mortgage commitment is until I am 75 so retiring before that will take a miracle (or marriage to a man with money ... or a Tattslotto win, that I fear is the most likely of the 3) which means at least 23 years of continued business or employment. That will then give me 25 years of … sitting around … doing what I am doing now, in fact! Enjoy this time now as the next “holiday” is 23 years away! That is not to say that the first 20 years of my business is “what I do not want to do”. It may not be exactly what I want but it did achieve what I created it for and it is not too far from it now. Given the changes I have caused the last couple of years including my up-qualifications in Ayurveda, my specialist research/online courses and workshops for a future as a Birth Doula and Postpartum Care Doula ... along with the “flying of the nest” by a number of my health professionals and so reducing the wide array of services The Health Exchange has offered … I suspect the Universe is trying to tell me to shift my sails more North, if north is my True North (sorry to use the housing development slogan). A couple of years ago, as part of my life review at the age of 50, I created a vision for a future where children’s hospitals were closing wings because there were not enough sick children to fill them! In business the adage “build it and they will come” is commonly used and this is how I feel children’s hospitals have been. Millions upon Millions of dollars are raised every year for Children’s Hospitals and it gets bigger upon bigger and we have more upon more sick children! This is just my observation, of course. That was why I wanted to work with the challenge of sick children from the other end of the spectrum - before being conceived, during their time in utero and certainly the first 12 weeks of their life – through enhancing the health of their Mother! My commitment to this work has not waned. My commitment to providing Massages has not waned either. But maybe, after supporting 40 health professionals to get their business off the ground … maybe this is one of my arms to be amputated. 40 businesses in 20 years is not a bad statistic! That does not include the number of people I have given employment to, or work experience, as a Receptionist. While I did enjoy this arm of my service, I felt under appreciated by those who “jumped ship” with the health professionals “who flew the nest”. There are probably only 4 or so for the 50 people I estimate who have passed through the doors of The Health Exchange, who have cut my soul with a knife … and then there is the one who penetrated my heart with a sword (and twisted it) with her reaction to my question of what it was like being pregnant – “FINE if you don’t mind being FAT” she threw. “Then I’d be OK with that,” I replied with my size 18, 39-year-old body and no sight of ever having the privilege to create a human. “Hormones” was the excuse another colleague used to explain this woman’s attack. That is only something that could come from the mouths of women who do not know what it is like to be on the other side of “correct weight”. Now I have worked more closely with pregnant women and mothers I banish the thought that a human being in your belly could be “fat”, emotional changes or not! How dare your mother call you her fat? When you look at it that way, hopefully no pregnant woman ever thinks of her creation of life in that way (again, hormonally charged or not!). Anyway, I think I have side-tracked again. This writing has been a good cathartic exercise in letting the volcanoes of my past erupt … and feel like they have been heard. Smelling the roses, that is where I was. The next 23 years at a minimum, that is where my thinking is … I was on the RMIT website, just because I am on their emailing list. I found a course called Certificate IV in Screen and Media. Then I discovered the Associate Degree in Screen and Media Production. Then ... the Diploma of Screen and Media and then the Advanced Diploma in Screen and Media. Oh, the choices! I will need to speak to them to find out which would be best for me. Most are 1 year, with one for 2 years. One is the pre-requisite for the other which will make it 2 courses in 2 years … While not the same path to my True North, can it not be slightly North-East? Or, North-South if there was such a direction? In January 1986 when my HSC result arrived in the post and I saw that my Anderson Score was below entry to Nursing, I pulled out the list of all courses available and shimmied down the cut off score to then look across and see what course I could do with such a number. I called Gippsland Institute of Technology about their Social Science Course to be told that 6 points below their score made me ineligible. Wagga Wagga was offering a Film & Television Course, so I rang them to enquire but they did not answer the phone. I got through to Warrnambool Institute of Advanced Education for their Social Science Course and was welcomed in with open arms by a high-pitched woman with excitement. I always wondered if Wagga Wagga answered the phone, what my life would look like now. I had been introduced to a video camera in 1980 by my father who had a career in the 1960’s as a Motion Picture Camera Man. He basically made the news reels and the like shown in Cinemas before the affordability of buying your own television came into existence! I consider film work in my DNA as well as my life experience from age 12. Gosh, that is 40 years ago! About time I answered its call, hey? Maybe that is the next direction … while still heading North! Is there any reason one cannot split their career in two directions? I think I have grown up in a time when a full-time job was the goal and that meant you could only do one ‘full time’ thing at a time. For men that may be true and surely my generation is from a patriarchally dominated time? (Most) Women have always split their careers by being a full time Mother and part time or full time employee in some paying capacity. Since being a Mother is an unpaid career option it does not really get factored in. I could write a whole other Blog about men who are full time Dad’s but I had to delete the 1000 or so words I just started, as I am not going to present that losing side of the argument here. If you really want me to I can write the ‘other blog’ that attempts to defend their position of “equal” parenting but sadly it will end with the comment most women I hear say that goes something like: “My husband is really good … he takes the rubbish out”. This blog will not be taken over by that hidden volcano in my head about equality of the sexes that does not exist and probably should never exist. The closing remark on this I will make is that women have two X Chromosomes and men have one X, backed up by a puny Y Chromosome which has led to Freud’s “Vagina Envy” theory turned into a “Penis Envy” and so the push by men to dominate the world! Full stop! Where was I? Yes, 23 years of working life ahead of me! Great opportunity to pick up the loose ended dreams I have carried and tie them into the winning dream! With a timeline like that I am motivated to really see my life shine and be able to lay on my death bed (after my 100th Birthday) and declare “I should have worked more!!”. Miss Sophia Cull Ayurvedic Traditional Medicine Woman | Doula | Pregnancy Massage Practitioner | Massage Therapist | Writer | Poet | Film Maker
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I am a Massage Therapist and it has been 18 days since my last massage. It is amazing – my forearm muscles are like marshmallow and my skin is looking great! My theory is this ~ the muscles of my forearms get tighter with each massage and that blocks the circulation of heat, which then becomes stagnant and leads to hot, red, itchy, dry, inflamed skin. No massage ~ no inflammation!!
- - - - - - - - - - It is the 19th of April today and I cannot remember whose birthday it is. Two boyfriends from my 1990’s had April birthdays, one on the 10th and one on the 19th. I cannot recall which is which, so I send a “Happy Birthday” call to them both via the Ether. No, Ether, not Ethernet or Internet! I have not spoken to one since the turn of the Century or there soon after and the other about 10-12 years ago. When both turned 50, two and four years ago, I felt a yearning to make contact, but my friends persuaded me it was not a good idea. They were probably looking from their wife’s perspective! Anyway, Happy Birthday Boys … Old Men!! - - - - - - - - - - It is nice to see so many people out and about for a walk. Dogs would never have dreamed such an opportunity could arise for them. I hope the exercise continues for the humans once the Pandemic is “over”, but I feel sorry for the household pets whose life will suddenly be reversed again. Take my cats for instance. Olivia demands my attention and her cuddles almost all my waking hours now. I know I have spoiled her, but she is 16 years old and I have never had a cat that old before! I recall my first cat Brandy was demanding of my attention when I was focused on my Year 12 studies and I spoke quite gruffly to her in a rebuff. Within days (or a week), she passed away at the age of 13. You can imagine how that guilt of 35 years now allows for Olivia to get what she wants & when she wants it! I was doing stretches on the floor last night and she saw it as an opportunity to plant herself on my chest. She regularly joins me when I sit on the massage chair and she has become accustomed to the jiggers and movements of the machine that she just looks like an anchored boat out at sea. As for Willow – let me in, let me out, let me in, ah snack food, let me out. Angel is probably hanging out for his life to return to a time when mummy was not home and taking him to the Vet so often. One more visit today darling, just to check your mouth is healing from the teeth extraction. And it is OK, Olivia goes tomorrow and Willow the day after. Then we are all square! - - - - - - - - - - My unemployment benefit has not kicked in yet – I am still waiting for the call from Centrelink. This Wednesday marks 4 weeks since I registered. If they have not lost my paperwork, there is $2000 in Government pockets waiting to make its way into mine. I have also not heard from the authorities confirming I can access my Superannuation. That was meant to be possible from mid-April, just passed. It is all a waiting game! Things change by the day in this COVID-19 “lockdown” and I am now included in the Governments Job Keeper allowance. That means I can say goodbye to the Job Seeker allowance that has not started and hello to a raise of $250 per week that I did not think I would get, that also has not started! It is all good in theory. At least for the latter, my Accountant is onto it so that may not only speed things up, I feel I have an advocaat and I am not left dumped in a gutter to fend for myself. That was an interesting statement arise from my subconscious mind – “I feel like I have been dumped in the gutter and asked to fend for myself”. Yes, that could be an accurate description of a deep stored emotion. I may not have found it if I did not let my hands freely type this Week 3 Diary of Hibernation. Let me explore that with myself for a moment. “A feeling of being dumped in the gutter and left to fend for myself”. I was “ordered”, you could say, to close my business to reduce the spread of COVID-19. I “willingly” abided because I can understand the reasoning and many of my clients are on an aged care package. Massage cannot be conducted at a 1.5-meter distance and there is a level of trust of “cleanliness” of both therapist and client present for a “hands-on”, “skin-to-skin (gloves from my perspective)” treatment. Breathing within 1.5 meters of each other is another factor. I was offering some of my clients the option to cancel their appointments before the Government put Massage on this list. Some took the option and “cancelled for now” while others said, “I’ll take the chance”. So, if it is a Government directive that I have been ‘prepared for’ and ‘happy to follow’, where is this feeling of “being dumped in the gutter and left to fend for myself” coming from? Is it because the “promised” funding support has not materialised? Is the isolation and limited contact with the outside world having me feel the repercussions of a single-woman lifestyle years before its destined manifestation? That is a thought, isn’t it? Do I feel those with a husband at home to navigate the financial challenges, better positioned than myself? Is it the “husband” factor for support I am missing? It is not like I have ever had a husband to take the pain of managing finances; it has always been my pain to deal with. It was hard enough, in 1996, to let the boyfriend of the time drive my car whilst I sat in the passenger seat because that was like “giving control” to him, a stereotypical thing that occurs in (some) relationships. One that I was always adamant was never going to happen – my car, I drive! Your car – you drive! So, is it about control? Is it about support? Do I feel unsupported as a single-middle-aged-woman, living alone with 3 (dependant) cats? I think I am getting closer. “A feeling of being dumped in the gutter and left to fend for myself” is the statement that appeared on the page. How accurate is that feeling now (I am checking in with myself!). Well, the “left to fend for myself” could reflect the nature of my singlehood. Yes, I possibly do feel alone and the lack of face to face contact with my regular team of Moyez, Evelyn and Taya and my regular clients, could be a contributing factor. As for “dumped in the gutter”, is that my internal drama queen speaking or reflective of my cleaning lady retiring again leaving me to clean up after myself? I am not sure, but the pull of emotion has diminished as I have explored the statement and deconstructed it. If nothing else, you might have got a tip for how to deal with yourself when you randomly speak or think something inconsistent with your outer Self! Question where it comes from rather than accept it at face value, as we should with all News Media these days! - - - - - - - - - - Whilst this looks like a smaller Blog than the past two, I feel I should end it here or I will be writing it into Week 4! I have filmed and edited three Films in the last week with 2-3 more sitting side stage. I have a lot more on my list including cleaning up but I think I will start with ironing the curtains I washed. I picked up the DVD of My Fair Lady the other day with a view to watching it whilst ironing. I know the songs so well I thought it would be the best film to watch while operating heavy machinery! That is to say, I do not need to watch the screen. I did not realise it was Audrey Hepburn who starred in that film as I was thinking it was Julie Andrews – she was in The King and I and The Sound of Music. No, I just Googled, not The King and I … that was Deborah Kerr. Golly gosh I had my three women confused. Besides all being musicals, at least the latter two is about being a Governess (or Servant depending on your view) to multiple children. I also learned from my Google that The King and I was a Rogers & Hammerstein Production. Wow, what we can learn from Google when we have hours upon hours to entertain ourselves!! So anyway, I think after dinner I will put on the DVD and iron my curtains! Until next week, take care! Miss Sophia Cull Ayurvedic Traditional Medicine Woman | Doula | Pregnancy Massage Practitioner | Writer | Poet | Film Maker So, having said all that, the question now rests on this - for a woman whose life is business, who was I going to be?
Whilst I pondered this “meaning of life” type question I was distracted by the skin on my arms. Usually a glowing red, inflamed colour with varying degrees of dryness or cuts from scratching {due to the heat radiating outwards} or even flaking dry skin as a sign of healing … it glowed a skin colour, my pale skin colour that is! It had shown signs of this “normality” in the past but not lasted more than 10-15 days. As I pondered this on day 11 “since my last massage” I concluded {though not closed in my analysis} that my work as a massage therapist was possibly exacerbating my life-long condition of skin eczema! The 10 to 15 days respite I recalled was pinpointed to my trip to New Zealand for my Postpartum Care Doula Workshop last September. I can also recall several days of diarrhoea whilst there. Both inflammation of skin and diarrhoea are “heat” conditions known as an excess of the Pitta Dosha. It is possible that my “holiday” was a good treatment for my eczema and allowed my body to “excrete” the excess heat through organs other than my skin. I was starting to “de-stress”. Therefore, this 6-month term of Maternity leave could be a good opportunity for my skin and my overall health to improve! An excellent side thought to the real question at hand today! However, it did spark a thought – maybe I will not return to Massage once I can reopen my Business? But the question of “who am I” still rang like tinnitus in my ears. If I am not a Massage Therapist, who am I? But I love doing massages; what I don’t like is the carrying of equipment to home visits – massage table, suite case and small bag IN the car, OUT the car, UP the stairs, DOWN the stairs or ACROSS the road if I could not get a close enough car park! I love massaging the client when I get there … but set up the table, put the towels on, warm up the oil, undress the table, put it back into the case {buggar the zipper is broken} etc etc. My clients on an Aged Care Package would not get their massage if I did not do home visits. But who says that is true? There may not be many of us out there but there are some who do home visits. Maybe they would still get their massages … Just not mine!?!? I do recall, when I was younger and naiver {like in my 40’s}, thinking that I would be too old for home visits when I was 50. At 52 it is not the physical work holding me back but the nagging child in my head who doesn’t want to play that game anymore! Maybe after Maternity Leave, she will have been pacified and I can just get on with Massaging clients in the comfort of their own homes?? That is something to think about. Massaging in clinic does not have the same exhausted glasses upon it. In fact, more clients and more days in clinic would be good! I have been working on Saturdays and Sundays in clinic using the rest of the week for home visits, reception work/practice manager or “pseudo days/hours off”. I don’t really have a day off. What would I do without family commitments to pull me in all directions other than work? There is the question again – who am I, if I am not my business? I don’t want to sound like I am only a Massage Therapist because I am bigger than that! When I started business 20 years ago, massage was the stepping-stone to getting started and Naturopathic studies was what I placed in my future. As it turned out, my first subject in a Diploma of Nutrition {another stepping-stone to Naturopathy} introduced me to Ayurveda, the ancient Medicine of India; and that became the NEW ME! It did take over 10 years for me to advance my plans of becoming an Ayurvedic Practitioner; I started the Advanced Diploma on my 47th Birthday and completed it before my 50th with the view that I would not have to massage after 50!! The Ayurvedic Universe is so big and so intricate, I was foolish to think 3 years was enough to know what I am talking about!! The remedial treatments were up my alley along with daily routines; however, the diagnosis process, herbal medicine and nutrition was a bit too much for my synapses to store and so my confidence as a Practitioner sits under the massage table! It did however, open a world of postpartum care with rituals and traditions common to the East & Indigenous Cultures and long lost to our Western Ecosphere. I had never had an interest in having babies {outside of husband thoughts} or thinking about mumma’s after childbirth, as that lifestyle never really crossed my path. I am not an Aunt and girlfriends who have had babies disappeared into another realm once kids were born. I suppose it is that thing about “not sharing the same lifestyle anymore”. While Pregnancy Massage has been a service of mine since I studied Massage and then up-qualified in both 2011 and 2019 for this, postpartum massage was never a thing – I recall complaining that once my pregnant clients had a baby I never saw them until they were pregnant again! Now I know why!! I made sure to participate in the Postnatal Massage Workshop last year too. I felt that after studying how some Cultures view the 40 days following childbirth {otherwise known as ‘The Fourth Trimester’} as a time of Rest & Rejuvenation for mumma and time for family to bond with baby, compared to my limited knowledge of Australian/British/American mums being discharged from hospital 2-3 days after birth and back at work 3-6 weeks later, shock waves ricocheted down my spine! How could we be so stupid to treat our mothers like this? A new world opened up for me – the world of a “Birth Doula”, who’s work supports parents in the journey to parenthood across the threshold of childbirth; and the “Postpartum Care Doula” who ‘mothers the mother’ for 6-12 weeks depending on her needs and how the birth unfolded, ensuring she rests & eats nourishing foods to repair the “damage” to her health 40 weeks of pregnancy imposed, as well as the “strain” and effect on hormones & immunity giving birth does to a woman’s body. Suddenly I could see myself as a Grandmother! I have given myself the following titles at the end of my emails: Ayurvedic Traditional Medicine Woman Doula Pregnancy Massage Practitioner Massage Therapist The question is whether this describes ‘what I do’ or describes ‘who I am’? It is easy to say it is what I do of course, but deep down it is also who I am – I am a Massage Therapist and what I do is turn your concrete muscles into marshmallow; I am a Doula and what I do is support mumma’s recover from pregnancy and childbirth so they can be healthy again … and produce another child! I am an Ayurvedic Traditional Medicine Woman and what I do is apply the principles of Ayurveda to our modern, chaotic, busy life to give you some tips on exchanging your poor health for good health .. or good health for greater heath! After all, I am The Health Exchange! I find it interesting that however I look at it, I am still defined by the work of the businesses I created. Am I wearing a box over my head? Is it a problem to wear a box over my head? If you want me to describe my personal characteristics I would say things like caring {that’s my Kapha Dosha}, sensitive {that will be the part hidden by the bold, bushfire, leadership qualities of Aries} and determined {that is Pitta Dosha meets Aries in the dark of the night and does a deal!}. Is that the answer to the question or is there more to me than words can describe? They say, “a picture tells 1000 words” and that is really unhelpful in a 4-page Essay to the question “who am I really”? Maybe the question is not designed to be answered but only pondered? Well I have 6 months Maternity Leave {minus 2 weeks} to do that. Let us see at the end of that time, what is in the future for my business and the services I provide my community. Maybe then the box will be lifted and the exhausted glasses de-fogged. Maybe then life will look clearer. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I stood at my wardrobe and wondered what to put on today. The decision is usually based on whether I have a massage or not. I purchased “scrub” tops from a Nursing website because they have pockets and a flexible material. They are also cool to wear and the oil washes off easier than my other clothes. But today there is no massage, so what do I put on? I decide to go for the new scrub that does not have my logo embroidered yet. I am staying home anyway so what does it matter? You hear the stories of men who dress up for work and leave the house the same time every morning even though they have been made redundant but could not bring themselves to tell their wife. Was this what I was doing? In denial that my business had closed? Or is it just that I chose these work clothes for comfort, as I wear them practically 7 days a week, and to now wear something “less comfortable” just because I am in hibernation seems non-sensical? I really didn’t care – I liked that top and that was my decision! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - What is all this sadness around? Am I in denial? The radio plays sad music to reflect listeners emotions. The TV or Facebook or people texting me have this underlying negative layer of being in isolation with their query “Are you OK?”. “Yes, I’m great thank you!” In my perspective, unless you are COVID-19 positive or have a family member with it and is in hospital or intensive care, what is there to be sad about? Certainly, I was anxious 3 weeks ago when I did not know what the future held for my business. Now, hey, work? This is early retirement. I’m having a great holiday. Getting my sleep in, watching movies, making films, writing my heart out … A friend texted me: “How are you coping?”. My response? “Doing well. Benefits of living alone. Clinic is closed so house is now my home taken over by cats and just stuff! I’ve been making films and writing blogs. Going to start filming a stretching program today … as a reward for two lots of dishes and a long walk!! How are you?” - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - With Easter in the middle of my Week Two it has been interesting. My usual Easter Sunday is filled with cooking a roast and hosting “leftover” friends, that is people without family to celebrate Easter with, mostly my aged friends. In the lead up to Easter, there was all this community talk about how difficult it could be, would be, should be … I called my two main guests on Wednesday last week and said “I would like to make you a roast lunch for Sunday and bring it around to you for you to enjoy by yourself. Is that OK?” I have an excellent reputation for roasts as I have been practicing for years on my friends! They were of course a yes, so I took their preferred order of meat and vegetables and set off shopping. One was a roast lamb with roast potatoes and pumpkin with steamed corn, peas and broccoli {don’t forget the mint sauce} and the other a roast pork with roasted vegetables including potatoes, pumpkin, capsicum, carrot and broccoli {don’t forget the apple sauce}. No dramas. So, Easter Saturday I set about making apple sauce, fresh ghee and the stewed fruit casserole desert. By Sunday morning I was up at 7am putting the roasts on for their 4 to 5-hour cook. The lamb, being the smaller of the two, was pretty much done in 2.5 hours and the pork was falling apart after 5 hours, as I cut it for delivery. The real complement for my cooking {whilst both guests were very appreciative of the free “Meals on Wheels”} was the fact that my cat Angel, who had all his teeth removed one week earlier and was experiencing challenges eating everything I gave him, hoed into the roast pork like it was his last meal !! Ah, finally, he’s going to be OK!! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Now ending Week Two leaves me with that feeling of “I don’t want to go back to work”. I’m not yet, of course, but there must be a memory deep in my cells that is suggesting the 14-day holiday is over and one returns to work. What is extra ordinary about this feeling is that a “resting holiday” of 14 days has not appeared in my calendar for some time. There was the trip to NZ last year but that was a “working holiday” for most part; in 2018 I drove to Grafton with Lynney and her mum but that was pretty much working with many days of driving and a few days rest followed by a flight home with her mum; there was the 2 weeks in NZ in 2017 for our 10 days of intensive practicals for the Advanced Diploma, a “working holiday”; there was the 4 weeks I took in 2016 to drive to Brisbane 4 days up and 4 days back with 3 weeks of intensive practicals for the Ayurveda diploma so that was a “working holiday”; maybe the 3 weeks over Christmas is what my body is thinking, even though my home visits and other clinic massages always sneak in here and there. Maybe it is way in my past like when I had a full-time job 1996-97. I definitely did not want to return to that job! Otherwise the only thought I have is that it is actually deep in my DNA and it is my father or Grandfathers experience of holidays and not wanting to return. I choose the patriarchal side as mum was a farmer who never got holidays! She did work for an English family for 5 years (thus my training in Roast Lunch) and I do recall her saying her holiday over Christmas 1955 found her home with her mother in Italy and not wanting to leave again for her new life in England! Fortunately, she did return to work or her future of meeting Dad, travelling the world and having me would not have happen. Maybe that is the cellular memory suggesting a displeasure with retuning to work? Maybe I just don’t want to play ‘Business Games’ anymore? Time will tell, I guess. Miss Sophia Cull Ayurvedic Traditional Medicine Woman | Doula | Pregnancy Massage Practitioner | Writer | Poet | Film Maker In the dark of night on Tuesday 31st March a Government conversation over the ‘Net took place with a group of Massage Therapy Association Leaders. They had been seeking clarification as to “which” massage therapists should close and which could stay open, if indeed there was such a dividing of this service. QLD had recommended closure of Massage Therapy businesses the week earlier after our Prime Minister used the term “Massage Parlour” in his list of services to close with Beauty Salons, Nail Bars and Tattoo Shops. The term “Parlour” had not been used with “Massage” in my 20 years and I thought the description was code name for “Brothel”. The next day I checked the PM’s website to see the list and Massage did not appear while Brothel did. I escaped that “cut”, I thought to myself.
However, the debate had started and QLD jumped in first. The other States needed clarification before suggesting to their members it was time to shut up shop and enter the dole que! The answer arrived with an explanation that because Massage Therapists do not register with an overarching Australian Regulatory Body, and so are self-regulated, we are not “Allied Health Services” but “Complementary Services” and our complement was non-essential health services, so we should cease in the name of COVID-19. It was effective immediately which meant Wednesday April 1st was our end date. The HICAPS service thought they would do their bit to help and stopped all claims from massage therapists, effective immediately. Good cost cutting for them, hey!! Thursday 2nd April 2020 The challenge for me was that I do not receive email to my mobile phone but prefer to use my computer. Bigger screen and all that! Wednesdays are my Home Visit days so by 9am I was at my first clients house, followed by a 2pm home visit then a 6pm massage at the clinic. I did not open my email … until Thursday afternoon!! What an afternoon that was. Many phone calls were needed to inform my health professionals and clients booked in that I was closing The Health Exchange. The Acupuncturist could continue so I decided to send the few clients he was seeing here to his home clinic. The Naturopath had followed her Associations advice earlier in the week to move to telephone consultations and cease body work. I then needed to create a text to send to our clients on the text-database explaining the closure and update the website and Facebook Page. By Thursday night I was able to tuck my 20-year-old business into bed and let it sleep. The closure was on our minds for several weeks and as the COVID-19 statistics of positive tests increased, it became clear our services where on the chopping board, it was just a matter of time. Each Government announcement had me pinned to the screen listening if it would be “this time”. Each time I would breathe a sigh until the next announcement 24-48 hours later. So, to say it was a relief once the decision had been made would be accurate. The anxiety of “how will I manage without an income” became a reality to be dealt with. I had put in place the back-up plan of registering for the Unemployment Benefit for $500 per week, a week earlier, knowing it would be back dated to then. I spoke with my Accountant who said only 2 other options were available to me, as a Sole Proprietor without staff – firstly I could draw on my Superannuation and claim $10,000 mid-April and then a further $10,000 after the turn of the New Financial Year. This assumed I had at least $20,000 in Superannuation. As a sole proprietor business owner with my level of income generation, Superannuation is the last mouth to be fed … and so goes hungry. When I was paying my Reception Staff Super Fund 9% of their wage, on top of their wage {at a time when I could not afford to pay myself a Salary half of what I paid them, even though my hours were more than twice theirs} it was like someone standing in my heart and scratching their nails down a black board! Anyway, the assumption was that I had more than $20,000 tucked away until my 60’s or 70’s. A couple of years earlier I had checked on the small sum rolled over from my 20 years of “casual employment” and there was $25,000. I was saving it up for a new car when I could finally get my hands on it. With the recent drop in investments I wondered whether there was any left, so I called to find out. Sure enough, after years of sitting in some Investment Wrap Type Portfolio doing its own thing unhindered by my checking up on it … it was still $25,000. I’d like to think it shot up to $100,000 and the recent drop brought it back to where it started!! So, I registered to be able to access this source. The second thing the Accountant mentioned was that businesses renting from Government owned buildings could access some support from the owners. I had been renting rooms at the Hume Tennis & Community Centre for some years and while it was profitable for a couple of years there, the last 3 or so have been a struggle. The economy has been on a downward slide for some time and the number of health professionals willing to risk starting a new business versus being “employed” (rent paying vs taking a percentage of earnings) has declined. At the time of all this turmoil of COVID-19 closing businesses it was quite clear I had to let go of these rooms. Of course, one needs to give 3 months’ notice, so my debt only grows larger. However, the Council will “supposedly” support me from March 1st to my final closure June 8th. They don’t know what that “support” looks like yet, so the rent invoices roll in! Only a couple of months earlier I had a conversation with the ATO to take my one Casually employed Reception Staff member, who I have not employed for more than 2 weeks in the last 2 years, off the books. This was to stop them nagging me about not registering for the Single Payroll thingy that my Bookkeeper said I was registered for but as I had not paid a staff member it had not been activated! In addition, it gets Workcover off my back about paying them too. Whilst my Accountant was disappointed, I can only see the upside! One of the Government Supports was to pay businesses $750 per week to keep their staff employed. I guess that meant that if I closed business and she was out of work, she could get $750 per week on this program rather than $500 on the employment benefit. As I did not have any work for her right now she probably would not be eligible anyway! The downside for me is that I would not get $750 per week as I make “drawings” on the business and not a “salary”. Could you imagine the Government giving you $750 per week to pay your staff who is made redundant and being able to only claim $500 for yourself from the Unemployment Benefit? Like not even an administration fee for doing the book work to receive and pay her?? Talk about nails down a blackboard!! Anyway, getting back to topic. I had calculated that if I was closed and unable to earn an income for 26 weeks {6 months from April 1st to Sep 30th} with both the Unemployment benefit of $500 per week and $20,000 Superannuation, it would average to $1269.23 per week. Extrapolated to an annual income {as I like to look at things} it would be $66,000 +/- 4 cents. That was not too bad, I thought, even though below what I would like my business income to be. Given we are not in a “usual” year this year, this would have to suffice!! Away from the perspective that is not logical and money-centric {without disregarding that perspective as “Biological and Physiological Needs” [food, drink and shelter] are first on the 1970's Sociology work known as "Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs"} I want to talk about what went on in my head!! Once the closure had been made, I experienced an interesting rollercoaster of emotions. First, I felt had to “label” this time off. I was sacrificing my business to reduce social interaction, especially my interaction of hands on and mostly with elderly people, in the name of COVID-19 Pandemic. I was not alone in this but knowing this is not as comforting as one would like. Only weeks earlier an ABC Radio Conversation Hour talked about middle aged single women as the higher proportion of homeless people. Making my mortgage week to week, sometimes 2-3 weeks ahead, meant that I was at high risk. A broken leg could put me out of action and potentially see my house taken out from under me. Now, without the broken leg but limping with a broken spirit, I was stepping voluntarily closer to that statistic. At the same time, I knew there was a safety net of the financial support outlined above, as long as it all goes to plan. Overnight I debated on an empowering terminology to describe this “forced and willingly abided” time of life. At first, I thought of it as Long Service Leave. As a business owner with the type of business I run, having paid long service leave was a dream and to take unpaid long service leave a nightmare. Long Service Leave sounded good. I was on 6 months Long Service Leave to acknowledge my 20 years in business. I could go with that. By morning, that was not enough. Long Service Leave? What? I needed or wanted something a bit more creative. How about “Maternity Leave”? A 52-year-old single woman with 3 cats taking Maternity leave - what? Yes, exactly what I needed/wanted. Something out of the box! To justify this terminology, I added a by-line: Nurturing My Self Nurturing My 3 Cats Nurturing My Community And Giving Birth To Something New This sounded like a plan. Then what happens? On Tuesday 7th April there is an email from my Association saying that “Relaxing Massage” must cease but “Therapeutic Massage” can continue. Now I’m getting texts! “We are back on” one exclaims. Well, I was just getting used to being closed, now you want me to reopen? My mind was in turmoil again. “No”, I decided. I am not re-opening only to have to close in another week or so. My Spirit could not take that. Besides, my qualification is debatable as to whether it is Relaxation or Therapeutic. If I held the Diploma of Remedial Massage, I could count on that. But if push came to shove, would my Certificate IV in Massage Therapy defend my muscly arms declaring no one relaxes under Sophia’s thumbs until the massage is over?! My colleague returned to her clinic of “employment”, which would be easier as she just showed up and did the work. I, on the other hand would be like that clinic’s receptionist calling everyone and explaining that they got it wrong and they can have their massage after all! So, having said all that, the question now rests on this - for a woman whose life is business, who was I going to be? Miss Sophia Cull Ayurvedic Traditional Medicine Woman | Doula | Pregnancy Massage Practitioner | Writer | Poet | Film Maker |
AuthorSophia Cull is exercising her passion for writing and film making since closing her business for COVID-19. ArchivesCategories |